How to Order Wine in a Restaurant Without Anxiety

There is a specific type of social pressure that only materializes when you’re handed a wine list in a nice restaurant. It’s like being thrown into some “Wine Person” role you never auditioned for, and being expected to suddenly know what goes with duck confit, what vintage rocked in Burgundy, and how to say Gewürztraminer without choking on your own confidence.

A great wine list for me but a torture for my non-wine nerd friend. Wine list of La Bonbonette in Paris

As it is, all you want is a decent bottle that won’t fight your dinner or your budget,  or worse, humiliate you in front of a date, or your boss, or your suspiciously wine-savvy friend who once interned at a winery in Stellenbosch.

Here’s the reality: You don’t have to be a sommelier to order a wine well. All you need is a bit of structure, a handful of strategies and the confidence to ask the right questions without feeling like you’re being interrogated.

Let’s walk through it, like I’d do if we were at a table together, you sliding me the wine list and mouthing “help.”

What Is Actually on the Wine List?

First, wine lists are not meant to be user-friendly. Some are sleek and considered, organized by wine style or flavor profile (“fresh whites,” “juicy reds”) ,but most are not. More frequently, you’ll see a dense, alphabetical procession of appellations, producers and vintages, but little context, and even less serviceable description. Burgundy alongside Beaujolais, a Tempranillo beside a Syrah. Just vibes.

Price points consistently leapfrog each other with little rationale as to why one wine is €35 and the next, €110. Let one of them be the one that changes your life. The other may just have an old château on the label.

It can be overwhelming for anyone, wine people included. So don’t let it rattle you.

What I Would Do

I don’t pretend to know it all when I get the list(even I am someone who’s supposed to know everything about wine). I give myself a second to scan, identify the names I know, and then do what you should absolutely feel entitled to do — start narrowing it down.

Whether you are eating alone, with friends or on a date, the best strategy is to find that magic intersection between what you want, what you are eating and what you want to pay.

If it’s more of a wine-forward place, I can probably guess I’ll want something fun. If it’s a brasserie with a short, classic list, I’ll go for the best value wine on the list.

Either way, I always begin with the same question: What do I want to drink right now?

Step One: Select a Color

Red, white, rosé, orange or sparkling?

It’s the first decision that allows you to cut the list in half. Follow what you’re craving, but consider what you’re eating. You don’t have to follow the pairing advice in a textbook, but there’s a reason no one drinks Amarone with oysters. If it’s summer and you’re ordering seafood or vegetables, a white with nice acidity or a light red is bliss. Cold weather, braised or slow-cooked meats, or mushroom dishes? Then red it is.

Step Two: Budget Without Fear

Ah, the second-cheapest bottle — the oldest restaurant wine cliché in the book. Is it really the best value? Sometimes yes, sometimes very no.

Here’s the truth: cheap wines have higher markups because most people order inexpensive wines and restaurants know it. More expensive bottles, particularly those in the mid-to-high ranges, tend to be marked up less as a percentage. Imported wines are usually more expensive because of taxes and shipping, and local wines tend to have more attractive pricing on the list.

What I do is think of what range of prices I’m willing to pay, and then see what looks interesting within that range. When I see a bottle that hails from the Jura or Mount Etna and falls into that range, I sense I’m onto something good. If it’s all Bordeaux and I’m not feeling like blowing a month’s rent, I’ll root around for the underdogs: Chinon, Bierzo, Kakheti. Less hype, better value.

You know you’re not out to impress anyone.” You’re there to drink well. And a €40 wine that makes you smile is preferable to a €90 bottle that leaves you cold.

Yes, the price on the list can go from 50 euros to 5000 euros. Wine list of le Petit Sommelier in Paris

When the Wine List Is Long Enough to Bind Like a Novel

If the list is huge, don’t attempt to read every word. No one does. So the best approach is to zoom in on a specific region, whether one you’re already comfortable in or one you want to explore. France too broad? Go Loire. Italy? Try Friuli. The section with Napa giants in the US? Seek out a sneaky Oregon Pinot or a lean Finger Lakes Riesling.

If you’re in a certain area — for instance, sitting in a seafood restaurant on the Amalfi Coast — drink local. Not only because it generally pairs well (it does), but because local wines tend to be fresher, better priced and selected intentionally.

Yes, the wine menu of 8 books, as long as Marcel Proust's In Search of Lost Time. Resturant La dame d'Aquiatine in Dijon

Don’t Be Afraid to Ask (Seriously)

Once you’ve whittled it down to a couple of contenders, flag down the sommelier or server. You are not bothering them. You are not being annoying. You are doing the thing that they are trained to assist with.

Say something like:

"Between these two wines, one from the Loire, the other from Slovenia. I’m having fish. What would you recommend?”

Or:

“I usually like earthy red wine with a little bit of texture — do you have anything interesting that’s not on the list?”

Yes, you can inquire about off-menu bottles. Sometimes the list hasn’t been updated, or there are new arrivals they’re road-testing, or rare allocations they’re holding for adventurous customers. If you’re looking at two bottles from the same region — two Morgons, you sure can ask how the producers differ in style. One could be juicier, the other more structured. Even these little things add a lot in the glass.

All it takes is a little curiosity. The point isn’t to regurgitate a walking wine glossary — it’s to express what you like, and let them fill in the gaps.

So You Want to Drink Like an Insider?

If you want to dig out something unique from the wine list:

• Check out the vintages that are there. They most often go unnoticed, but the vintage is among the simplest ways to drink smarter. A wine with some bottle age, particularly from obscure regions, can be gentler and more nuanced, and often surprisingly inexpensive. In many ways, it is showing maturity.

  
  

• Go for lesser-known regions and grape varieties. Everyone orders Chardonnay. You’ll impress no one. Instead, inquire about Albariño, Assyrtiko or a white from Croatia. It’s not about showing off. It’s about discovering something new you truly love.

It’s Just Wine: Final Thoughts

Ordering wine isn’t a test. You don’t have to impress anyone — all you have to do is say what you feel like drinking, out loud, and work from there.

Feel free to be curious, seek help and don’t overthink it. Even if you are left with something strange, it’s just one glass. Or one bottle. You might love it. You might not. But at least you’ll have experienced something new.

And if all else fails, just get what they have on by the glass list. It is nearly always a safe selection for the masses.